Aloha fellow adventurers,
We all have angels and guides. These light beings are around us all the time. I have become close to my guides and angels and they are prompting me to share a bit of my story and be vulnerable. Here is the story I decided to share, and I trust it serves you in some way.
Coming to a good place. Creating a lot of happiness in our life. That's really what this work is all about. I work with the mind, and support and guide clients to shift, heal and re-focus thought, belief and stories to a new and positive direction.
Here is my short story. It's a childhood story. One where I am a six or seven year old boy. My dad and mom had just stopped at a department store where they bought me my very first fishing pole.. And wow I'm so excited. We're going to go fishing. My sister and I are in the back seat of our family Buick Skylark and we pull up to the lake and it's just, it's just so great. I'm so excited! And, when I get out of the car, and I walk over to the lake, I'm looking at the lake and it's so fun, so new, so exciting for me. I don't think I'd ever been to a lake before.
My Dad is assembling my fishing pole and he then baits the hook and puts a bobber on my line and he then toss's the line in the water. As I'm fishing, I'm watching my Dad fish. I'm watching what he's doing because he's the fisherman. He's always been the fisherman, and I'm getting clues from him, because I look up to my Dad and obviously I have no idea what I am doing. He's got his line in the water. He's actually tossing his line in the water, and reeling it in, throwing it back once again and reeling and i'm just watching what's going on. Of course, I'm off and on looking at my bobber, because my Dad told me to watch that bobber. He said to keep watching the bobber and when the bobber goes under it is time to pull up on your pole. So I'm watching intently, well as much as a child can, and I'm looking at the lake ..and from what I remember, really excited. And then the bobber starts to oscillate and goes down a bit and I'm like, oh, boy.. even more excited!
The bobber goes under, and I don't remember the rest, all I know is, wow, I've got something and I'm doing my best to hang on to the pole. I've got something, and I pull the fish out of the water and my Dad comes over. Yes! It's like a.. maybe a six or seven inch small blue gill or sunfish or something like that. I remember it was just some little fish of some type.
My Dad comes over and he's going to help me get the hook out of the fish's mouth. And I'm watching him work away, and I notice that as he's working, he's getting more and more frustrated. I can remember the hook was down inside the fish's mouth. And so I'm watching him intently and his face is getting more and more contorted and he's getting more and more aggravated. And I mean he just looks, ..angry. His anger seems more intense each minute and he is starting to look really aggravated and this has me feeling really uncomfortable. Scared. Anxious. I'm getting my Dad angry over this fish I caught. I get a very strange feeling, uncomfortable and wanting to get away.. as he opens the tackle box and he pulls out some pliers. He's wrestling with the hook down inside the fish's mouth and, finally, after what seems like a long time, I can still feel that anger, I'm now very tense and uncomfortable. I remember that feeling, and I didn't feel good!
He finally pulls the hook out of the fish and pieces of the fish come with it. The hook must have been down inside the fish's stomach. As I watch, my Dad then throws the fish back into the water. Each moment I am more uncomfortable, feeling more anxiety and the whole experience was not fun! I can tell that my Dad is still angry as he baits my hook again and he gives me the fishing pole. What sticks out clearly is how strange, sad and uncomfortable I felt. I can remember being in fear, I stepped back and I'm keeping to myself.
My Father walks away and goes back to his fishing with his pole and I'm not fishing anymore. I only know this feels uncomfortable, that I got my Dad upset. I can see he's really angry.
For some reason I decided to check on the fish. I walk over to where my Father threw the fish in the lake and I'm watching this fish swim down into the weeds and then slowly the fish floats back up to the top. I have never forgotten this picture in my head.
Finally, the fish totally flips over, belly up and then dies in the water. Now I feel terrible. This is fishing? l realize now I killed the fish too. Today, at my age, yes it may be a little silly, but
I do my best to silence myself. My Dad goes on about something else. I don't even remember. And I walk away and I really don't have an interest in fishing any longer. So this exciting, wonderful moment of my first fish, my first fishing trip, was not a happy or fun experience. This becomes a traumatic memory where my mind makes up a story.
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