My First Fishing Trip with Dad, Part 1

Aloha fellow adventurers,

We all have angels and guides. These light beings are around us all the time. I have become close to my guides and angels and they are prompting me to share a bit of my story and be vulnerable. Here is the story I decided to share, and I trust it serves you in some way.

Coming to a good place. Creating a lot of happiness in our life. That's really what this work is all about. I work with the mind, and support and guide clients to shift, heal and re-focus thought, belief and stories to a new and positive direction.

Here is my short story. It's a childhood story. One where I am a six or seven year old boy. My dad and mom had just stopped at a department store where they bought me my very first fishing pole.. And wow I'm so excited. We're going to go fishing. My sister and I are in the back seat of our family Buick Skylark and we pull up to the lake and it's just, it's just so great. I'm so excited! And, when I get out of the car, and I walk over to the lake, I'm looking at the lake and it's so fun, so new, so exciting for me. I don't think I'd ever been to a lake before.

My Dad is assembling my fishing pole and he then baits the hook and puts a bobber on my line and he then toss's the line in the water. As I'm fishing, I'm watching my Dad fish. I'm watching what he's doing because he's the fisherman. He's always been the fisherman, and I'm getting clues from him, because I look up to my Dad and obviously I have no idea what I am doing. He's got his line in the water. He's actually tossing his line in the water, and reeling it in, throwing it back once again and reeling and i'm just watching what's going on. Of course, I'm off and on looking at my bobber, because my Dad told me to watch that bobber. He said to keep watching the bobber and when the bobber goes under it is time to pull up on your pole. So I'm watching intently, well as much as a child can, and I'm looking at the lake ..and from what I remember, really excited. And then the bobber starts to oscillate and goes down a bit and I'm like, oh, boy.. even more excited!

The bobber goes under, and I don't remember the rest, all I know is, wow, I've got something and I'm doing my best to hang on to the pole. I've got something, and I pull the fish out of the water and my Dad comes over. Yes! It's like a.. maybe a six or seven inch small blue gill or sunfish or something like that. I remember it was just some little fish of some type.

My Dad comes over and he's going to help me get the hook out of the fish's mouth. And I'm watching him work away, and I notice that as he's working, he's getting more and more frustrated. I can remember the hook was down inside the fish's mouth. And so I'm watching him intently and his face is getting more and more contorted and he's getting more and more aggravated. And I mean he just looks, ..angry. His anger seems more intense each minute and he is starting to look really aggravated and this has me feeling really uncomfortable. Scared. Anxious. I'm getting my Dad angry over this fish I caught. I get a very strange feeling, uncomfortable and wanting to get away.. as he opens the tackle box and he pulls out some pliers. He's wrestling with the hook down inside the fish's mouth and, finally, after what seems like a long time, I can still feel that anger, I'm now very tense and uncomfortable. I remember that feeling, and I didn't feel good!

He finally pulls the hook out of the fish and pieces of the fish come with it. The hook must have been down inside the fish's stomach. As I watch, my Dad then throws the fish back into the water. Each moment I am more uncomfortable, feeling more anxiety and the whole experience was not fun! I can tell that my Dad is still angry as he baits my hook again and he gives me the fishing pole. What sticks out clearly is how strange, sad and uncomfortable I felt. I can remember being in fear, I stepped back and I'm keeping to myself.

My Father walks away and goes back to his fishing with his pole and I'm not fishing anymore. I only know this feels uncomfortable, that I got my Dad upset. I can see he's really angry.

For some reason I decided to check on the fish. I walk over to where my Father threw the fish in the lake and I'm watching this fish swim down into the weeds and then slowly the fish floats back up to the top. I have never forgotten this picture in my head.

Finally, the fish totally flips over, belly up and then dies in the water. Now I feel terrible. This is fishing? l realize now I killed the fish too. Today, at my age, yes it may be a little silly, but this is me as a child. Think back to 6 years old, and remember an experience when you're just a small child. You're thinking all these crazy things, you don't know how to process. I can remember I was upset enough that I was getting tears in my eyes. I'm crying. This is the child I was. No judgment what so ever. That's the boy I was. As I begin to cry, I reach out to my Dad, "Dad, the fish is dying." "I think the fish is dead".  I'm stammering, It's, it's... sitting here in the water and with tears in my eyes I look over and my Dad. My Dad, still contorted and angry, says, "stop crying, or I'll give you something to cry about."

I do my best to silence myself. My Dad goes on about something else. I don't even remember. And I walk away and I really don't have an interest in fishing any longer. So this exciting, wonderful moment of my first fish, my first fishing trip, was not a happy or fun experience. This becomes a traumatic memory where my mind makes up a story.

 This is one of the many experiences that I had growing up.  And I can see today, it taught me something. It began to teach me, ways to form opinions of myself and ways to handle situations with others. And, I'm not going to blame anyone here, but what I'm saying is, this is how the mind starts taking in information unconsciously, and forms beliefs about life, about ourselves, what we should do, what not to do, what behaviors are good, what behaviors are not so good, based upon experiences and outcomes.

What did I start to believe here? Many things. And the only reason I can pinpoint them is I have experienced the same State of Mind many times. Be quiet. Don't speak up. Don't get your Father involved. And, don't ask others for help, do things for yourself. And another one of the big patterns, it's not good to show my emotions. For some reason. It's, really not a good thing to do.

This is how it starts. For the next several years of my life, as I went through each day, these experiences influenced my thinking. One of the deepest ideas that began to form? I felt like I was not accepted for who I am! This stuck with me on and off for years. It was not okay to just be me. I must stifle my thoughts, stifle how I feel and hide who I am. And even worse, imagine yourself in that spot for a moment. Can you imagine what a young child feels in that moment? I mean, does this young child feel loved? No, not at all.

I've been blessed with many beautiful gifts. And I've been blessed, because I asked for and prayed for them, I've been blessed with many great teachers. I have also been blessed with a great level of intelligence, a level of emotional intelligence and my intuition is very tuned in. I live with integrity and I have this beautiful, spiritual gift that I like to share with others. For obvious reasons, it took awhile to believe it was ok to share this with the world.

During my life adventure, I learned many things, ..and while unlearning what I know does not serve me, what I came to understand and know from each teacher and my own experiences, our life experience is shaped by what our mind decides to believe. Most of the beliefs, ideas and opinions are formed through experiences like these and most, if not all of them, are not even true!

Maybe you've not had an experience during a first fishing trip. It's quite possible, you've had a different experience in some way, shape, or form, and life presented a situation where your mind decided to unconsciously believe something that is still impacting your choices, your decisions, and your experiences today. I know how it feels. I know how it feels to live in a state of anxiety, anticipating or waiting for the next shoe to drop. I know how it feels to, begin to feel different. How anger begins. How a lack of self-confidence and self-esteem gets a foothold in our lives. Most of all, I know how it feels to always have the best intentions, be in a really good place and things just don't turn out like you want them to. 

I'm going to ask you a favor. if you know, someone who's struggling, if this resonates with you or with someone you know, and they're struggling to achieve their dream. They're struggling to have harmony in relationships. Or they could quite possibly be wrestling with anger, sadness, lack of value, or lack of self-esteem. Please have them reach out to me. I have unique tools at my disposal, developed over time, incorporating unique wisdom from my teachers and mentors, and I know how to uncover and heal what holds us back.

It's high time, to create a shift in our unconscious patterning, our thoughts, our beliefs, and that story that we may be telling ourselves repeatedly. It's likely we are not fully aware of this, but we are very aware that it does not feel good.

No matter how minor it may be or how serious it could be, I wish for you to find the freedom from this emotional hook and repetitive experience. I wish a higher experience for you, and empowered direction, to choose consistently the higher thoughts of what is possible for your life instead of an old hidden belief system, which keeps you on that familiar hamster wheel.

The mind can be healed through neural plasticity and you can go on to an amazing life. It doesn't take a lot of therapy. It doesn't take a lot of work. It takes awareness and focus, and I'm, here to teach and guide you on how to do just that. 

Please like, or comment and share this wonderful content with your friends to spread the healing word and support the effort to change lives.

Here's to living your best life!

Michael

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